Vanishing twin syndrome
Breaking their in-utero brains by jumping
Cooking them improperly because I don’t eat meat
That they’ll have bad teeth or bones later because I don’t drink milk (though I eat a lot of other dairy)
Messing up something in them because I used benzoyl peroxide
That they’d come out with something wrong with them
That something was wrong with one or the other who wouldn’t move as much for awhile in utero
That I wouldn’t feel enough for them after they were born
That I wouldn’t know how to be a mother
That I wouldn’t be a good mother
That they wouldn’t be cute
That I wouldn’t think they were cute
That they wouldn’t be cute but nobody would tell me
That I would never stop hurting from the c-section
That my face would stay swollen
That my butt would go flat
That I would change
That they’re not growing as much as they should
That they’re gaining too much weight
That they’re gaining weight wrong
That their feet haven’t grown
That I’ve ruined them because I don’t sing to them (they do hear plenty of music)
That I’m not playing with them correctly or enough
When they randomly have a big spit up or cry when eating, that I did something wrong and it came through my milk
When they screw up their face and get all red and scream–and I don’t know why or how to fix it
Their flat heads won’t get better and they’ll need helmets
That people would judge me for not breastfeeding/that I have to explain or justify not breastfeeding
That I have to explain or justify having a c-section
That they will have problems later on and it will be my fault for any of the above reasons
That I’m forgetting everything about life with them as little babies
That they’ll be sick and I won’t notice
That since so many things have gone well thus far something bad will happen later
That I don’t worry enough
And all kinds of worst-case-scenarios that I can’t bring myself to even write
There is something about being a parent that brings out the worst morbidity in ourselves, even if you aren’t a huge worrier to begin with! I have my own fair share of horrible thoughts that I can’t bring myself to write…
Ditto what Nancy says…even though I’m not a parent, I think I would be crazy worried about all kinds of things.