I am tired today.
I’m tired of being tired.
I’m tired of staying up late to pump, even though I don’t have to stay up as late as I used to.
I am REALLY tired of pumping while feeding two babies simultaneously. I hate it, in fact.
I’m tired of my butt feeling numb from sitting on the couch so much.
I’m tired of the back spasm I only get while pumping.
I’m already tired of trying to work even a little during the day with babies. It’s only been two weeks.
I’m tired of being behind on everything. Cleaning, organizing, photos. Any time I remember something I should do or want to do, I can’t actually do it then. Or I’m just too tired to want to do it.
I’m tired of doing nothing and doing the same things all the time over and over. Somehow I have cabin fever but also am too lazy and tired to do much about it.
I’m tired of feeling like I’m failing my sweet babies by not knowing how to entertain them enough and not being able to hold them/keep them off their backs all day.
Mostly, I’m freaking exhausted. For the past three weeks I haven’t gotten extra naps during the week that I was getting for the past two months. I get five to six hours of sleep at night, which I know is so much more than a lot of people with small babies so I have no right to complain. But it’s really starting to get to me. It’s so hard to stay up even until 12-1am (to pump, of course)–my eyes literally start crossing. And it’s almost impossible to get up in the mornings.
I’m just so. tired.