35 weeks

Dear A and B,

Hurray, we’ve made it to 35 weeks–this is a big milestone for your growth and development in utero! You’ll be even more developed if you can hang in there for another week at least, if not two. We’re hoping for two, obviously!

35 week twin pregnancy photo

A, you’re really wedged in, head-down, like you’re trying to head-butt your way out. You’re like a baby Lord of the Dance though, because I feel a lot of movement of what must be your feet. We might have a dancer or soccer player on our hands! B, you’re still the quiet one; I don’t feel as much from you. Sometimes a few big slithers around the top half of my tummy.

This week we bought you a car. Not for you to drive; you can’t even hold your heads up, and you certainly can’t reach the pedals, even working together. 🙂 No, we got the car so that we’ll have something bigger to cart you and all your attendant stuff around. And it’s newer and more reliable, so we feel safer and more comfortable having you in there. We installed the car seats, too. (We tend to procrastinate on some things, can you tell? Maybe we’ll try to be better role models for you.)

I washed your clothes and started putting things aside to bring to the hospital for you to wear and come home in. I have no idea how big or small you’ll be, and most of those newborn clothes are impossibly tiny. It’s hard to imagine that anyone could wear it, or that it could even be too big for you! You’re both around 5 pounds already, so I hope that by the time you arrive you’re even bigger, which wouldn’t make you too much smaller than ‘regular’ babies.

That process made you start to seem more real to me. I won’t lie, for all these months, you’ve been more hypothetical in my mind than real. Part of that is self-preservation–there are so very many things that can go wrong in this process, and so I don’t want to plan too much just in case.

But I can now picture you two tiny babies in those tiny outfits. I hope you’ll be cute in them, and I hope that you arrive healthy so that we can bring you home in them as soon as possible.

We have a crib ready for you, and a swing, and two bouncy seats. We have some decor items to get on the walls, but I guess you won’t really care about any of that for awhile. You won’t even be able to see more than two feet for at least a few months. It’s more for us and for you in a year or two. Mostly we just need to get it done before you’re here, because you’ll no doubt keep us too busy to do pedestrian things like hang up a print.

I’ll be hanging out on the couch for the next couple weeks, taking it really easy to make sure you aren’t jostled out too soon. So both of you please also do lots of resting and growing for the next two weeks, and try not to arrive too soon yet!

Love,

Mommy

34 weeks

I feel like a Barbie doll whose legs have been unsnapped and then put back on incorrectly. It all just feels…off, somehow. The chiropractor said last week that my pelvis is really loose, so I guess that’s why? Also, a lot of the time it feels like I’ve been horsekicked in the ladybits. Ouch. This is why I like sitting on the couch so much. However, even sitting so much, I’ve noticed that my feet are swelling even more–on the top, like a cake pan that’s overfull. Gross. My ankles are so swollen they’re wider even than cankles.

34 weeks twin pregnancy photo

After a week of no belly circumference growth, this week it bloomed two more inches to 49! Excellent. My hips also gained another inch, which again probably explains the discomfort. (If you haven’t already, you can look at the belly photo series linked above.)

Weekly fetal monitoring this week: A and B, but mostly B, were rolling around and hiding from the monitors. Three different nurses spent a good half hour trying to nail them down! A and B should know that they better not try any of that nonsense once they’re on the outside–no way Mommy’s putting up with that.

I gained EIGHT pounds in a WEEK. Eight! I think a lot of it is in my ankles. Also, as of yesterday, I’ve now officially gained sixty pounds.

Yesterday we had a growth scan. Both A and B gained more than a pound, and A has begun to catch up a bit in weight. They’re now 7oz apart instead of just over a pound. That is good news. The tech had a hard time with A, who was rolling all over the place having a grand old time.

Oh, and we saw something really cool–both A and B have hair! A lot of hair! I didn’t even know that an ultrasound could see something like that. I myself was born with a full head of hair, so I had already been expecting that at least one of these would also have some hair. But it was pretty neat to see it on the ultrasound screen.

There are less than three weeks or so–at the very most–left until these two arrive. We still haven’t installed car seats or packed a hospital bag–better get to work!

33 weeks

Well. It finally happened.

I hit a big number. Two of them, in fact.

50 pounds gained.

I now weigh 200 pounds.

These are both large numbers. Big, round numbers that look menacing.

But then I take a breath. There are two fetuses in there, with all their accompanying fluids and support organs (plus the amount of blood actually doubles in a woman carrying twins, versus an increase of 1.5 with a singleton), and 50 pounds so far can’t be that bad. And I can look at myself (well, not physically; I can’t even see my belly button, but I do have a mirror) and can see that I’m not a huge fat person-blob. I really don’t look like I weigh that much (see above!), which tells the rational part of my brain that all is fine. Then of course I have to remember that I/they are not done growing yet, so I’ll will probably hit 60 pounds gained, if not more.

My doctor hasn’t said anything about the number of pounds at all. She says everything is still going great, in fact. I’m really hoping that these two will stay in there and keep growing for awhile.

In other news, I think I have hit the wall in terms of comfort in the last week or so. Pretty much anytime I’m upright and moving, something hurts or aches. The lower backache is pretty much constant. There’s also a weird ache/pressure in my pelvis or somewhere, which hurts the most when I get up after sitting. It’s got to be pretty hilarious to watch, as I struggle to standing and then waddle-limp tiny steps. In the morning is the absolute worst; I push up sideways so I’m sitting on the bed, and then stand up. I stay there for a minute and rotate my hips a bit, but then I have to move, and I can barely put weight on at least one of my legs (ache/pressure/joint pain in my lower back/hip). I wobble across the room to the bathroom and by then it’s better.

Not very fun.

Additionally, in the last few days I’ve noticed that I think I’m getting Braxton-Hicks contractions any time I’m up/walking for more than a couple seconds. They don’t hurt, but they aren’t comfortable either.

I still have no classic heartburn, which seems kind of miraculous when I talk to other pregnant ladies. Sounds like they can’t eat a lot of things or a lot of volume. I seem to be able to eat plenty still. A couple times I do get some kind of acid-y feeling around my belly, but not up above it where heartburn/reflux would be. I have some acid reducer that seems to help, so maybe it’s indigestion? Also the occasional vomit burp…which seem to be getting a little more frequent.

Last week I realized that I can’t sit up straight, because my belly hits my thighs.

I have to take big deep breaths or sighs randomly to get in more air. Even just sitting on the couch. I swear that last night while trying to go to sleep I felt like I wasn’t getting enough breath through just my nose.

Sleeping has been a little difficult since early summer, but it’s the worst it’s been now. It still takes several moments and a series of small movements to turn over. The last few days, that wakes me up enough to realize I need to get up and go to the bathroom. Which then wakes me up even more and sometimes I can’t go back to sleep easily.

My belly button seems to be all on the outside, though I’m sure it has farther to go to pop out even more. You can see it through my top in that photo!

A week or two ago, I noticed that I’m starting to get faint stretch marks around my belly button. I’m disappointed about it, and I’m disappointed that I feel disappointed, if that makes sense. I know that there’s nothing to be done, and that it happens all the time, and it’s genetic. Nonetheless, I feel a little sinking sadness whenever I see it. I have started applying the Trofolastin twice a day now too, to see if I can hold off on further development. (I bought another tube last week–it’s back on Amazon now, and the shipping was really fast!) I guess it’s a vanity issue, one more thing I didn’t want ‘marring’ me.

In sum, things are uncomfortable. I know that it won’t get any better, it will probably get worse, maybe a lot worse. However, I’m really not complaining much–I still have had no complications, no problems, and overall things have gone so well. Everything could be so much worse. I’m doing my best to accept that it’s not going to feel good for the next few weeks. That’s not a bad trade-off if the babies are healthy and growing.

Really hoping that all continues to go well physically so that these two can keep cooking for up to five more weeks. And holy cow, FIVE WEEKS is not very many weeks! Making it to at least 36 weeks would be fantastic…except that that’s only THREE weeks away, holy shit! End of November is still my goal, though 38 weeks (the longest I’ll be allowed to go) would go into the first week of December. As long as possible is great by me!

30 weeks!

Or–these will be actual, outside babies sometime in the next eight weeks. EIGHT! That’s a single digit number of weeks, which isn’t very many. I’m not ready!!

My belly button is getting closer, but still hasn’t popped.

Looks like I have another light linea negra below my belly button, but of course I can’t see it myself.

I swear that I’m growing a rectangle belly instead of round. No growth in belly circumference this week.

30 weeks twin pregnancy photo

I’m up to 190 — that’s forty pounds. It’s been about five pounds at each doctor’s appointment, which seems like a good, even pace. Which means that in two weeks or so, I’ll hit 200. Whoa. That is a really big number. I’m not exactly worried about it, though I really wonder how I’ll look and feel afterward. I don’t want to put in a lot of negative energy and worry into weight and body. I’ve got plenty of worry about these growing beans!

Physically, I’m doing okay. My hands are less painful now that I’m drinking more water. They still hurt plenty, but it’s not as bad (except first thing in the morning). Unfortunately, something has gone terribly awry with both of my thumbs now–it was my right thumb for a couple weeks, and then it somehow switched to my left. Ouch. I can’t write normally and I can’t really use either of them as opposable if it requires any pressure.

My back still doesn’t have any joint pain, hallelujah! It does now ache a bit though, from carrying around all these pounds at the front. When I brush my teeth, I rest my elbows on the bathroom counter and the release of pressure on my lower back feels so good. I have to remember to get Mister M to practice some back massage for me! There’s a prenatal swim class I heard about that I want to try, if I ever get some kind of swimwear. Maybe a bikini top and bike shorts?

I’m finally feeling the effects of slightly squashed lungs. When I yawn, it feels like my belly can’t expand enough to where I want to breathe. Sometimes I talk a little too fast or laugh a little too much and end up almost panting and needing to catch my breath!

Stuff-wise, we’re getting more ready. Last week, I went to the twin club consignment sale and got a TON of gear: a double snap n go stroller, 2 boppies, a handful of clothes, some bottles, a monitor, another bouncy seat, a nice looking diaper bag. Plus two free cans of formula. The haul barely fit in my car! (That stroller does not fit in my Saturn’s trunk. Oops.)

(just some of the stuff!)

Then some family and friends threw me a surprise baby shower, which was so sweet! We got two brand new car seats, a ton of cute clothes, some books, even some diapers and wipes.

I also went through some boxes and bins of things stored at my parents’ houses and now have some blankets and clothes from my own (and my brother’s) babyhood.

So we have some piles in the baby room and in our living room. The next–big–step is organizing it all somehow. It’s time for furniture.

28 weeks

28 weeks twin pregnancy photo

An amazing thing happened two mornings ago: I squeezed the tube of toothpaste! I hadn’t been able to do that for about two weeks with that stupid thumb pain. I still can’t bend it very far on its own, but if I push down and bend it, it doesn’t hurt. My hands are still painful, but I think that in the last couple days it’s gotten less intense. I’m not sure why–maybe from drinking more water? Maybe my body is just being nice and doesn’t want to torture me forever? Whatever, I’ll take any progress I can get.

I’ve visited the chiropractor twice now, and WOW, what a difference. My left back/hip joint basically stopped hurting two days after the first appointment. My front hip was still flaring up some days. Then, last Sunday, I unpacked a bunch of boxes and even though I didn’t lift or move anything heavy, all the bending got to be too much. I could barely walk the next day–the back of my right hip was out of joint and very painful. Whoops. Happily, my next appointment was for Monday afternoon anyway. And lo and behold, on Tuesday, the pain was gone. Hallelujah! My front hip still hurts when I’m lying down, but overall the pain has gone way down.

Tonight we went to the Portland Art Museum–it was our first real outing! It felt good to be walking around again. Partway through our visit, I noticed my hands–when they were hanging by my side I could feel fluid pooling in them (sort of tingly and pulsing), so I spent the rest of the time holding them up on my belly. Also, my back and hip starting hurting and I had to slow way, way down. So I clearly overdid it; next time I should probably keep track of the time and only be up and moving for maybe an hour and see how that goes.

I also went to a dermatologist last week (referred to one by the OB) and she prescribed some clindamycin, which is a topical acne treatment that’s safe for pregnancy. It’s a relief to finally be battling my skin back, but it’s an uphill battle after a few weeks of no treatment. 🙂

Oh! We also finally got the official results from my sugar test, from back in Brooklyn. All is fine! They also checked mineral levels, and those are fine too. That made me feel good that I’ve been taking the extra iron supplement (in addition to the prenatal, which has iron).

My belly button seems to be edging its way toward popping. The top part of it at least is starting to stick out, and the rest is feeling pretty flat. Also, I think I’m developing a light linea negra, but it’s only on the top part of my belly, not below my belly button (although maybe there’s one there; I just can’t see it!).

After three weeks of no growth around my belly circumference, this week it’s finally grown another two inches–44! As always, see the full series of belly shots at the link to the right.

We had an ultrasound this week, the first one since early August. It was great to see the fetuses (the “b” word still is a little too real for me! :D). Overall they seem to be doing fine, though they’re not huge (which explains why I’m not huge). There’s a 23% size discrepancy between the two of them, which is borderline iffy, so we’ll have another ultrasound in three weeks. Really, I would prefer to have one twice a week!

I do feel plenty of movement (though there are times/days when it seems like it’s more of one than the other), and I love putting my hand on my belly to feel whatever’s going on in there. It’s fascinating and one of my favorite things. :)The movements are big enough to be visible or move things that are touching my belly. I finally got a video capture of one–take a look!

27 weeks: ouch

When were at the new doctor’s office last week, I got on the scale and it was official–180. One hundred eighty pounds. That’s THIRTY pounds gained–and not even seven months along! I think the Brooklyn doctor originally suggested 35 pounds of weight gain for the entire pregnancy. Oops!

The thing, though, is that other than my hips getting bigger (at least 4 inches already!), and obviously my chest too (EIGHT inches), and my belly really isn’t that big (still measuring the same belly-button number for three weeks)…so I’m not sure where that big number is coming from. I really don’t look (or feel!) like I’ve gained thirty pounds. But all the same, that’s kind of a scary number. The Portland doctor didn’t feel like it was anything to worry about, and in fact she said it could double by the end! I’m nearing the third trimester (for some reason I thought it was this week, but I still have two more weeks I guess), which is when the most weight gain happens for mom and babies. It’s intimidating thinking about what is to come–I have no idea what I will look like or feel like. I suppose it’s all going to go downhill as I get bigger?

Everyone did and still does exclaim at me that we did this big road trip while I’m pregnant. My response has been a suppressed eyeroll and, “It’s just sitting! It’s not like I’m walking across the country.”

The timing turned out to be perfect as well as lucky. Lucky because I’m still carrying pretty small for twins (in my own uninformed-but-internet-reading opinion), so I wasn’t uncomfortable. Timing because at the time I was pretty able to move around. If I had been any bigger or already aching, it would have been even tougher to sit and get up and down.

As it was, every time we stopped for a break (every 2-3 hours), I struggled to get up and straight-up hobbled like an elderly person for a bit. Then I would loosen up a bit and walk a little more normally. But the sitting part was fine. I kept a pillow behind my back and leaned the seat back a bit, and I was comfortable.

I brought my pillows with me, and every night brought in my body pillow to our hotel rooms. That really helped me sleep better, to have the same kind of leg/knee/foot support I was used to at home.

At our last OB appointment before we left, I remembered to ask about skin treatment and benzoyl peroxide. She said don’t use it, because it’s an unknown how it might affect a fetus. So I stopped my normal treatment routine and my face (etc) exploded. It’s a constant battle with my skin anyway, so all these extra hormones are surely not doing my face any favors. Which means I look a fright and of course worry that I’ve poisoned these babies. Sigh. PDX OB referred me to a dermatologist, and I’m hoping she will be able to help!

I mentioned awhile ago that my hands had swollen. I may have mentioned some discomfort too. My feet also got a little swollen and hurt for awhile.  Soon, though, my hands started hurting, and they still do. A lot. Everything hurts–bending, gripping, pulling. (Surprisingly though, knitting did not hurt last month! It did this week though.) It’s not the joints; it’s the in-between, meat-y parts of my fingers. Our Brooklyn OB tried to tell me it was carpal tunnel, and PDX OB started to as well. I told them both no way–no pain in the wrist, I’m on the computer a lot but I don’t actively type that much or that often, and all of my fingers hurt, including the pinky (the nerve that gets irritated with carpal tunnel syndrome does not affect half of the ring finger or the pinky). I know that hand swelling is normal, since there are extra fluids running around my system. But nowhere do I read that people have this kind of pain and discomfort. I suppose that if I knew it was common and/or if there was something to do about it, it might be easier to deal with, mentally (obviously I have to deal with it physically all day anyway).

To add to the fun, last week I did something to jam my right thumb. It’s been over a week and it’s still very painful. It doesn’t bend all the way and the bottom joint is painful to the touch. Occasionally it will bend too far and I will gasp out loud.

AND, for at least the last two weeks, my back has been hurting. Yes, yes, that’s par for the course with pregnancy and a growing belly. But this is different; it’s the back of my left hip.  If you feel at the very bottom of your back, you can feel joints on either side of your spine. On the left it feels like it’s been out of joint, like it needs to pop back into place. I’ve tried my normal tricks to no avail. It left me hobbling and limping–at first only a little, but for at least the past week, all the time. Then my front left hip flexor started aching, so I was limping twice!

The Portland OB referred me to a chiropractor that specializes in women and children, and I went on Monday. I was really hoping that she would be able to pop that joint back in and I would feel instant relief. That wasn’t the case, but she did a little massage and I realized how tense my whole lower back has been. Makes sense, I suppose, not having been walking normally for a few weeks!

Yesterday afternoon I was walking up the stairs (there’s a half-story between the living room and bedrooms), I realized that it didn’t hurt! No more back hip pain! A miracle!

I will go back for two more adjustments, but what a relief to be able to walk more normally again! Now I just need to get that hip flexor to behave and maybe I can try to go for some walks around the neighborhood.

So yeah, the last couple weeks have been tough with everything hurting. I realize that things are still going so well and that this is really still an easy pregnancy. No complications, no problems, nothing. Things could be so much worse. But not being able to do anything with my hands without pain, not being able to walk…when we met with the doctor last week and I was describing my issues, I felt myself starting to tear up. Not sure if it was frustration or pain or what. But looking at another two months of this is…not fun. Getting walking back is good, but I imagine that soon enough everything else will get even more uncomfortable anyway.