The Secret #11 Most Surprising Thing I Learned My First Year as a Mother

I never really posted about it, or even mentioned it to anyone in real life, but I was really nervous, even a little terrified, of having these babies. Partly because holy shit twins, and because I’d never had my own babies before, so I was scared of how hard it would be and what life would suddenly be like. But I realize now that I was also scared because I didn’t know *who* I would be. I thought I’d magically turn into/have to become someone different, someone who was beatifically selfless, and endlessly patient, and mother-y adult-y, and of course focused *only* on her babies.

A long time ago, I wrote about the things that surprised me the most about my first year of motherhood.

A few days later, reading a comment somewhere, I realized the biggest, most important change that surprised me:

I still feel like myself.

I didn’t become a whole new person once I had grown two humans with my body. It didn’t magically change my personality, my likes and dislikes.

Now, to be sure, plenty of things about my life have changed. I have a lot less time to myself, weekends aren’t just for sleeping and lazing about the house anymore, etc etc.

But the core of who I am is still very much there. I’m definitely the same person I was before I had babies. I realize this shouldn’t have been a revelation, but I think in Western culture “motherhood” is such its own idealized persona and identity and pigeonhole. There isn’t a lot of open discussion about how motherhood and the rest of a woman’s life co-exist, with the exception of an awestruck, how did you do it all?! When the reality is that millions of women are doing all of it, all the fucking time, and just living their full, chaotic lives.

I do think motherhood is a tough, exhausting job. Stay-at-home-parenthood is an EXTREMELY tough job, especially with twins. (I only did it for a few months, and it wasn’t even full time.) I completely respect moms and dads who stay home with their kids.

But no, I don’t think it’s the world’s hardest job.

Many people say that having children is the best thing they’ve ever done. And honestly, I’m not sure I feel that way. I’ve had some incredible adventures in my life, all of which have made me the person I am now. Those past experiences can still hold up as something amazing that enriched me, while parenthood can feel like an ongoing experiment sometimes! And now I get to use my past adventures to enrich and shape my kids’ experience, and share things from my own life with them, seeing it through their fresh innocent eyes.

It is amazing to be a parent. To be the hero, the one who matters most, who is the end-all, be-all to a tiny person. I am incredibly grateful, and awed, that I am two people’s mother. That is insane! It’s such a gift, and it can be a burden too. (Sometimes the weight, the enormity, the miraculousness makes me tear up, even five years later.)

But I also still get to be me, an entire, well-rounded adult human outside of parenting.

Some links to read that are more eloquent than I:

Motherhood isn’t the “world’s toughest job”

Newsflash: Motherhood is not the world’s hardest job

You probably already know The Honest Toddler and Bunmi Laditan, who is the genius behind it. She is goddamn BRILLIANT. Follow her immediately if you aren’t already. I read this post of hers and was like YES OMG YES:

I thought having children would make me a mother. Instead it made me a person with children.

I look in the mirror and instead of seeing the beloved, timeless archetype, I’m just me.

when the word “mama” slips out of my youngest’s lips I’m still surprised and honored. You talking to me? Surely, there’s someone more deserving of that title, I think, looking around, but no, he’s addressing this unkempt collage of contradictions and reluctance. The keeper of all things.

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Fun Bath Toys, plus a GAMECHANGER

We’ve had bath letters for a long time (two sets, of course, so they could both spell their names at the same time #twinproblems), and then I found some little water toys at Target. We had those retractable bath crayons, but they broke almost immediately. And that’s disappointing for toddlers and grown-ups alike.

Awhile back, I decided to add some new fun to bathtime. I found some different bath crayons that looked a bit more hardy, and some water-coloring tablets. Both were a resounding success! The crayons held up beautifully to lots of scribbling–zero breaking. The color drops are really vibrant, and fun to watch dissolve.

Also I have to tell you about this little thing that changed our lives–the Lil Rinser, a bath hat hair cover thing. Our boys HAAAAATE having their hair washed, mostly because they haaaate getting water in their ears and in their eyes. If you hold this thing on their head while rinsing, the water does not get in their hair and eyes!! TODDLER MAGIC!!

Other popular bath toys include plastic cups and funnels for filling and pouring, and a collection of rubber duckies. They get them at our dentist and we’ve gotten some as little tourist trinkets, and they play with them a ton in the bath!

What are your kids’ favorite bath toys?

*Amazon links are affiliate. Thank you for your support of this blog!

Big Family Trip! Part 2: to DC!

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On Sunday after the Easter fun, we packed everything up and headed back to DC. (We left an HOUR EARLIER than planned, which is a goddamn miracle.) Andy’s sister told us about the Air & Space Museum at Dulles Airport, which was right on the way, new to all of us (we visited the one on the National Mall on our last trip of course), and broke up the drive perfectly. Super perfect! It was a really cool museum—tons of airplanes of course, and a freaking SPACE SHUTTLE. I was blown away.

We also got these super awesome green-screen photos!

We stayed for about two hours, and drove into DC and parked at our hotel. We walked to the zoo (with stroller!) and wandered around a bit. The boys enjoyed seeing the animals, and so did we, but we all started getting tired and hot and hungry. Grabbed a super quick dinner across the street and then got set up at the hotel.

Speaking of the stroller–we didn’t need it during our time in Virginia, obviously; we brought it with us for airports and for going around town in DC, since there’s so much walking for sightseeing. It was helpful for sure, though the boys seemed to use it as a crutch. Like immediately wanting to sit in the stroller instead of waiting until they were actually tired. They so rarely ride in strollers anymore, so I’m sure it was nice for them to have the option to just sit down. If we hadn’t had it, I know we’d have heard SO much whining about being too tired to walk. (And I just cannot carry a forty-pound person very long or very far.) In general, I would not have guessed one would still need strollers for four-year-olds, but I was glad that I’d been too lazy to sell ours. (We also still have our Ergos! And used one (briefly) as recently as Christmas!)

Monday morning we went to the National Postal Museum. It’s part of the Smithsonian and I’d never heard of it! I guess since it’s not on the Mall it never crossed my radar. Bad tourist! There were some really neat exhibits–an old mail train with cool sorting bags and slots, a game to try using the zip-code machine (it’s this weird keyboard and we all failed at it), some mail scanners, and more. There was a table to try sorting mail, with a person there helping. We learned that members of Congress can sign an envelope instead of paying postage! Apparently it’s so they can communicate easily with their constituents, or for official purposes. A president cannot do this. And you can send mail to the president without including an address…since there’s only one place it can go. Same for Santa. Then there’s a computer station to make your own postage. You can see the boys’ efforts below. 🙂

After lunch at Union Station, we walked over to the National Building Museum. I also had never heard of this one. It was gorgeous. The space is huge and open with enormous pillars and even though I saw it on the website, my jaw still dropped when we got there in person.

There’s a “play zone” that you have to get special tickets for (you can see E playing with a huge toy house below)…but the boys liked another play area even better. It had blue foam blocks to build with. They played for almost an hour before our ticketed time to the other play area, and then for another hour until the museum closed.

Tuesday we packed everything up and went into town one more time to the American History museum. We walked through the transportation exhibit and then hung out in a play area. There was a miniature version of Julia Child’s kitchen, a big fun play structure, some books, and more. On the way out, I made us stop for a family selfie with something DC in the background. 🙂

The boys did well on the metro. They liked tapping our cards for us, and walking up and down the escalators. They behaved very well on the platforms, warning us if we went past the bumps too close to the edge, and sitting quietly on the trains.

The flights home were also very smooth and easy. Andy and I both have pre-check, which means the boys get to do it too. It was amazing to not worry about long lines at security! During the layover in Atlanta, we were sad to find out there are no play areas. So, knowing the next flight would be long and go into bedtime, we made our own playtime. I found a mostly-empty gate and they ran around the chairs in circles. Then I had them hop and jump on the floor tiles. Got them nice and worn out. They watched yet more tv on the flight and finally at 10freaking30 they were tired enough to lay down on my lap and sleep (I was sitting between them). It was really sweet.

Then I noticed someone had wet pants. Good thing I always travel with extra clothes. I had undies, socks, and shorts for them in my backpack just in case, and thank goodness too!

After Andy took him to the bathroom to change, he saw the other boy had even wetter pants. He got changed too, and we smacked ourselves for not having them go potty one last time before going to sleep. Oops!! But that was the only hiccup in our whole travel day.

We picked up our checked bags, got the shuttle to the economy parking lot, and finally arrived back home. It was SO wonderful to get back into our own bed! What a fantastic experience this whole trip was.

Big Family Trip! Part 1: to Virginia

This was our longest family trip away from home–a full week! And it was awesome! We all had a really good time.

When thinking about gear for this trip, originally I had thought okay, we’ll bring our car seats to save money, in the car seat rollers (which I borrowed), and their single umbrella strollers. And somehow we’d manage all that along with three suitcases…which is hilarious. Happily, we found a much cheaper car rental (Costco!) so even with the car seat rental, it was still not expensive. And Andy realized that *two* single strollers would be stupid, so we switched in the double umbrella that we still have in the garage.

The double umbrella stroller was a really helpful thing to have for sure. Four-year-olds do a lot of whining, especially when there’s walking to be done. So it was perfect for the airport when it was so early in the morning and they were drowsy and we had to keep them corralled anyway.

OH–and check out these adorable backpacks! I found them on craigslist and we stuffed them with their own entertainment: notebook/coloring books, markers, books to read, water bottle, small friends, a toy car. It was really helpful to have their stuff separate from ours (that it wasn’t in my backpack with all my crap too), plus they were excited about carrying their own bag.

The flight was at 6am, which means that we had to be at the airport at “ass o clock” aka way too early for humans. I assumed that the boys would sleep through most of it—that we’d just pick them up in their jammies and put them in the car. (Didn’t everyone have that experience as a kid?) However! They woke up! At like pre-4am when Andy got them out of their beds! And then they stayed awake for the entire day.

The day went really smoothly. The flights went great, and we had plenty of time on the layover to get to the second flight. We boarded very near the end of the process, because why on earth would we want to be sitting in the plane longer than we need to. We had a row of three to ourselves plus the aisle seat next door. It worked great.

The boys watched tv basically the whole time for both flights (we were on Delta with screens at every seat). And I was really totally fine with it. It was way, WAY more screen time than they’ve literally ever had in their lives. But who cares. It made life super easy and it made them happy. Win-win for sure. (And they watched zero television for the next week until our return flights, so it all balances out.) (Also that meant we could watch our own screens! I watched two movies!)

We rented a car and car seats at the DC airport. Somehow it took a freaking HOUR to do the entire car rental process. (Partly because we had to wait for seriously half a dozen elevators) We had a ‘free upgrade’ to a bigger car, a Ford Expedition. It was a freaking beast! I loved the extra space in the backseat and the huge trunk space; it was perfect for all of our assorted baggage.

The drive from DC toward Lexington went smoothly for awhile, even the traffic getting out of the city wasn’t bad at all. It was supposed to take 3.5 hours or so, but somehow it took SIX to get there. We stopped for dinner and run-around time at Cracker Barrel, which abruptly ended with a kitchen fire and evacuation. We finally arrived in Lexington at 11pm. It was a long, long day. But overall it went so well and so smoothly!

It was certainly the right decision to do the early flight and then do a long drive all in the same day. It made for a long-ass day, and some crankiness, but it was really good to get all of it out of the way. We all woke up feeling happy to be there, and had an entire, easy, full day to begin our vacation.

We spent four days there with Andy’s parents, and his sister and her husband. It was all very relaxed, easy-going, no-stress. The weather was perfect—warm and 70s/80s. The boys loved playing around the house—Andy’s childhood legos, a ton of dried beans and cups/containers, some new and old books to read, tons of great yard space, and lots of grandparent and auntie/uncle love and attention and playtime! We hit up a couple local playgrounds too, and went for ice cream at the local shop, but we actually did less ‘outing’ stuff than I’d figured. Oh, and there was a tennis lesson thanks to Grandpa! That was really fun! We so rarely see them try such a brand-new activity, and with a stranger.

As a nice bonus, we were there for Easter weekend! On Saturday, the boys dyed eggs and baked some Easter cupcakes with Grandma. On Sunday morning, they were very excited about the baskets Grandma and I put together, and played with them enough for me to slip outside to hide all the eggs around the big front and backyards. They loved running around and finding all the eggs! I loved watching them have so much fun. I love Easter egg hunts! (I would totally do a grown-up Easter egg hunt; who’s with me?)

I think this timing ended up being really perfect. It was a fantastic time of year with the weather, and this age was just great. They’re young enough to be excited about a lot of things, and old enough to understand and have conversations about what’s going on. We are excited to go back for another trip next year!

Next up: the last two days of our trip, in DC!

Four! Fall & Winter 2016

We have four year olds!

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Big, giant, articulate four year olds. Who give spontaneous hugs and kisses, who fall to the floor yelling about not enough cheerios in their snacky cup, who scale couches and counters, who can entertain themselves and each other, who sometimes share nicely and who sometimes fight like dogs over jammies or toys, who can recite entire books, and so much more.

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Physical changes: they are definitely taller, and they’re wearing size 9 shoes right now. Their enunciation has improved dramatically–they don’t sound like toddlers anymore; they’re articulate like little kids now. Fully in the “actually” stage.

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No more naps, not even car naps. We found that bedtime was easier without them, and though they definitely get noticeably cranky sometimes in the afternoon, it’s usually fairly smooth to just make it through.

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This summer we did nighttime potty training, which involved us waking them up overnight to go potty while they were still half asleep. We started this process in June, I think, and we gradually changed the times, and in October we stopped waking them up, and they made it through the night! There have been just a few accidents since. Overall a massive improvement in all our lives to have that taken care of!

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Also, the whining. So much whining. Can you hear the whining that was happening in this picture? I’m probably a terrible person for taking a photo, but this child whined nonstop for at least twenty minutes the first day we went up to Salmon Days (a local festival near Seattle). There is also near-daily whining about food, either because someone wants food or wants more food or wants different food. I think one of the theme phrases for right now is “I’m hungry still” in a whine.

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Related to the whining, they get mad at us for things like making them eat their dinner, or telling them not to stand on their chair, or other unreasonable things. They constantly say things like, “You’re being mean! That’s rude! You can’t come to my birthday party!”

However, they also run up and give me spontaneous hugs and kisses. They love playing chase games and tickling games. They say, “You’re my best friend!” M tells me that he’ll always be my baby even when he’s a grownup, because that’s what I tell him, which is too adorable. They are really sweet and wonderful boys like 85% of the time. It’s just that that 15% is SO very annoying.

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Since the last post, we had some good summer adventures, like a million fruit-picking days (fresh raspberries are the best!!!), and two trips to the coast. Our annual 4th of July trip to the Hood River Valley to pick cherries and visit Mt Hood was a success. The boys were a little confused with the snow.  dsc_1091-3_web dsc_1129-9_web

We all went bowling together! They wanted to roll their bowling balls just like us, and they actually did really well. E won the first game! With the bumpers, obviously.

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After admiring the roller coasters at the Clark County Fair and at Oaks Park last year, this year they actually went on those kid roller coasters! M especially loved the Oaks Park one; he went like five times on the last trip there this fall. Here he is with A on the Clark County one. At first, E didn’t want to do the roller coaster, but after he saw M do it, then E wanted to. And he was so excited about it!

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We got in a few trips to Oaks Park too, and they were tall enough for just about all the kiddie rides. The Froghopper was a favorite for all of us.

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Birthday party time!! This year they asked to have their party at JJ Jump.We had a few friends come, and everyone had a good time bouncing and jumping all over the place.

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Thanksgiving headbands required some serious persuading this year. We had our now traditional dinner at the Edgefield buffet, and like always, the boys mainly ate bread and fruit and dessert. M did have some turkey, and I helped E have a couple bites too.

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So much energy these two have!! I’m glad we got that trampoline last Christmas; it’s a great way to bounce out some energy on the dark evenings after daycare.

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I had them help me make Christmas cookies in December. It was super adorable how excited they were to help cut out the shapes, and then decorate them. img_8205_web

This fall we *finally* moved up bedtime to 730, and that’s made a huge difference. (We’d  been getting them up to their room between 815/830, and it was always a giant headache, and it would take them for-e-ver to fall asleep.) Now we are usually done with the bedtime stuff around 8/815. So nice to have more quiet evening time! The boys often stay up a little longer reading in their beds with little LED lights, which is really sweet.

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We paint sometimes, and sometimes they get paint not on the paper. 🙂 dsc_3361_web dsc_3371_web

They love drawing and coloring. They still mainly do scribbles and coloring in patches, not really trying to draw people or objects. They can sort of color within lines. Just recently they started drawing shapes, like all kinds of circles or triangles. Sometimes they include letters, but usually not on their own. M wrote his whole name last month, sort of!

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They love cutting “tickets” with their scissors. Just very recently M got a little obsessed with paper snowflakes, so I’ve helped him make at least a dozen or more. There are tiny pieces of paper littering their table area more days than not.

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Both boys still come into our bed for snuggles in the morning. The catch is that M now comes in overnight too, and burrows into A and falls asleep. Half the time A doesn’t even realize it, but wakes up and finds M there, and then takes M back to his bed. Then M comes back between 6 and 7am, and goes back to sleep. E comes in around 7, and gets mad because he wants to be next to Daddy. M doesn’t want to move even though he’s been there for an hour or more. So there’s an argument, nearly every day. (And it’s always an argument about who gets to be next to Daddy because no one cares about snuggling with Mama.)

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M is totally and completely in love with potty talk. Poo and pee are now some of his favorite vocabulary words. One memorable example was his version of Jingle Bells where he replaced ALL the words with either ‘poo’ or ‘pee.’ Oh, four-year-olds.

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This fall we signed them up for a gymnastics class at the community center. I was worried that they’d just stare the whole time, since that’s what they did in their dance class a couple years ago, but they LOVED gymnastics! They fully participated, did a great job following directions, and really did well on the skills. (I got to visit one class; their nanny was with them for the others and had wonderful reports.)

Speaking of our nanny, she decided to pursue her other job full-time, so we switched to full-time daycare in November. It’s been a transition, for sure, but overall the boys have done pretty well. There’s been whining and crying when we drop them off, but they’re always playing happily when we pick them up. And for the first time, I started hearing them say, “I love school!” and “I want to stay here forever!”

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They’re into books, as always–especially Curious George (that’s them listening to the audio versions!) and Berenstain Bears. Daniel Tiger has waned a bit. For TV, they love Little Einsteins, and sometimes still Super Why and Curious George.

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Seriously. Look at these sweet faces! We love them so much!

Summer Coast Adventure 2016!

Hurray for another trip to the coast!

After a lot of trips to the Seaside/Cannon Beach areas, we decided to go somewhere new (Newport) this time for a two-night trip, and I’m glad, because it really did feel like an adventure.

The downside of traveling farther down the coast is obviously that it takes longer to get there. So we drove to Tillamook first (which was our first coast overnight trip with babies in 2013) and spent the afternoon in that area.

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The boys LOVED the cheese factory. They lay down on the floor and settled in like they were watching television. Probably they would have stayed for quite awhile…as it was we had to practically force them away, and that was to go get ice cream!

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Of course they loved getting to choose and enjoy their own big ice cream cones! (When we go to our local ice cream shop, they get a half scoop in a cup.)

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From there, we drove to Cape Lookout. The boys were excited to see a real live lighthouse! Sadly they were too small to go up to the top, but they’ll be excited next year to do it. 🙂 It was a gorgeous day to enjoy the coastal scenery!

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We drove south along the coast and I kept oohing and aahing. I wanted to stop every five feet but sat on my hands. We did pull into this viewpoint and I decided I wanted to jump with my boys. Andy dutifully took photos for me. 🙂 E & M did really well and they had a great time jumping with me! ❤

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We stopped for dinner at Pig n Pancake in Lincoln City (it’s our favorite place to eat when we’re at the coast), and continued down to Newport. The light as we approached was AMAZING. It wasn’t golden hour yet, but it was that perfect gold afternoon light and I was alternately so excited and so frustrated because I couldn’t stop and explore with my camera.

We arrived at our “hoo-tel,” as the boys kept saying, just across the street from the beach. It was going to be the boys’ bedtime soon but the weather and the light were perfect — PERFECT — so we dropped our stuff in our junior suite (literally half of our stuff was stuffed friends, by the way) and walked over to the beach.

Check it out. There was only a light breeze, and I was completely giddy with that light:

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They had a fabulous time scooping sand into buckets, running in circles, etc. We had to practically drag them away.

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Bedtime back at the hotel was…pretty much the worst. It took like two hours for them to calm down and go to sleep. It was after 10:30 I think. UGHHH.

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The next day we started out at the Newport Aquarium. This was the big draw for us and impetus for this trip; we’d been waiting a year or two until the boys would be big enough to enjoy it. We figured this age would be great. And since it cost so much for the four of us to get in, we were hoping they would think so too!

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We were there for 4-5 hours total, and we all enjoyed exploring. I had assumed it would be a bit bigger/fancier than it really was, but there was plenty to see. They didn’t care too much about the indoor exhibits, but they liked watching the otters swim in the outdoor exhibits. The tunnel, which we’ve seen in Goodnight Oregon for years now, was not quite as spectacular as I’d expected. But there were three or four, not just one, and that was neat. It was pretty cool to see sharks swimming above your head! Of course, the boys weren’t super interested in the fish…they were super intrigued by the scuba divers (which they pronounce scoopa-divers). They just wanted to sit and watch the divers float around.

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Once we’d exhausted the exhibits, we hit the gift shop on the way out. There, the boys discovered the shiny rocks bin. They played with them for probably fifteen minutes and would have happily stayed much longer. We did buy them a pouch of rocks of their choosing. (Which then would fall out/spill in the car and in the hotel for the rest of the trip, causing much distress.) After we’d finally left we asked them their favorite part of the aquarium, and they both said, the shiny rocks. Kids, man.

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That afternoon, after a nap and snack, we went to Seal Rock. I was hoping it wouldn’t be very windy, and there were supposed to be tide pools there. Unfortunately, E woke up super cranky, and he was very, very unhappy about the strong winds. M was happy though; he dug in the sand for a bit and then wanted to run around in the edge of the sand/water. I started to take E back to the car and halfway up the trail he decided that he wanted to go back to the beach. He was calmer and happier after that. M was having a great time racing near the water, and he and I went to explore the tide pools that were emerging. (Low tide was still several hours away, but the water was retreating slowly.) And eventually I found some sealife! I cut my feet really bad on some barnacles but I found a little puddle on a rock that was ringed with anemones! It was our first tidepool experience and wild sea creature spotting, and I was really excited about it. 🙂

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The following morning we visited the Hatfield Marine Science Center. It’s fairly small, but has some neat things to see. There is one octopus which we saw for less than a minute before she went into hiding again. There were two really neat water tables that demonstrated the tides and tsunamis. I was as interested as all the kids were. 🙂 And then we found the augmented reality geography sand table!! The boys would have played there all.day.long. (I can’t blame them; it’s a really fun tool.)

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Our final stop was the Yaquina Lighthouse in the afternoon before we headed home. It was CRAZY WINDY and so foggy we could honestly just barely see the lighthouse from the parking lot. It was very dramatic to see the scenery in that weather! We went to the visitor’s center afterward and the whole place looks so different in all the sunny pictures. (Also, we learned there that it’s pronounced “Yeh-kwinna” not “Yah-keenha”, which is weird.)

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As you can see, it was full and fun family adventure! I love creating these little traditions and exploring new places with our boys. I wonder how and when they’ll start building permanent memories, but even just for now, it’s pretty wonderful.

Life at 3.5: Spring 2016

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The boys are 3 1/2! And man, we are definitely living with three-year-olds. (Though M says, “I’m thirty-five,” because that’s how much he weighs.) There are a lot of tantrums–most of them are about food, and most of them are when the boys are tired and/or hungry. Sometimes they’re both having a tantrum at the same time. Fun!

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Some very common phrases in our house right now include, a whining “I don’t have that much!” which can refer to anything from a pile of magnatiles or a bowl of blueberries. And “You won’t be my best friend anymore!” which is so hilariously threenager that I can’t even take it. Emmett’s also in a phase of responding to any question with “no” and a cheeky grin. Like, “You guys went to the park today?” “No.” “Did you have fun at the play cafe?” “No.” Silly goose. Oh, and if one of them is mad at us, they yell, “Don’t Talk To Me!” Drama galore!

Potty training is going great. They’re both in undies all day with no problem (they FINALLY are doing well with potty at daycare) and are in pullups overnight. We’re dreading the ordeal of night training, so we’re still procrastinating on that.

We made progress on another big-kid update: On Easter Sunday, we randomly changed the cribs to toddler ‘beds.’ It was a rough transition. The first night was actually full of screaming. (Our fault for not preparing them and doing this so randomly.) In the first week, there was some accidental rolling out of bed, there was some purposeful getting out of bed, there were screams, and giggles, and taking forever to get to sleep. Oy, it was so frustrating! However, now that it’s been a couple months, the misbehavior has subsided. There was a fun few days when they were running out of their room giggling after we’d put them to bed. After we shooed them back, we could hear them plotting: M: “Let’s wait till they go away, then we’ll out of bed!” E: “Okay!” (ARGH, twins!) Thankfully, it was only a few nights.

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Relatedly, the boys are no longer napping at home. (They are still napping at daycare, though.) This shouldn’t be a surprise, with the bed change and their age, but it is not a welcome update. We really needed that daytime break on weekends–for work, for our own naps, for trips to the gym or grocery store. And, you know, for sanity and some freaking silence.

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There is good news though: we’ve started doing a 30-40 minute car nap, which makes the evenings much less cranky. Plus they go to bed a little earlier, and sleep more soundly, and sleep in a bit later.  Fewer bedtime shenanigans too. And of course not having to be home for several early afternoon hours really opens up our schedule for events and outings! I really like not having to live according to a nap schedule.

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Mornings have changed a bit too. Once they could get up easily by themselves, they’d just start playing magnatiles together, or reading. But often they’d start arguing, and pitter patter into our room, saying, “He won’t share!” or “I don’t have that much!” For the last couple months now, the routine is that they get out of bed and come in to our room, crawling up on our bed to snuggle. It’s pretty stinking adorable to open my eyes to Emmett’s or Malcolm’s sweet face with a big huge grin. Plus it means we can be lazy and stay in bed longer.

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I’ve been taking the boys to the local library branch every couple weeks. They love picking up piles of random books and piling onto my lap to read them, and then checking them out. And of course they like returning them into the book drop! I’ve been taking snapshots of the haul each time to keep a record. It’s funny how they’ve gotten really attached to some of the books. And some of the books are really odd, like one they loved was Pat-a-Cake Baby…which I swear was written on some kind of drug trip.

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We have a growing (alternately very hip and very unhip) playlist of mostly ‘grown-up’ music that the boys are into right now. Which is great, because it’s all from our own music libraries, so I like the songs. (As opposed to, say, There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Spider, or god forbid, There’s a Hole in My Bucket. WORST SONG EVER.) However, when I inevitably find myself singing along to Chandelier or Blank Space, the boys say, No singing, Mama!

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After their mind was blown by Under Pressure (this was a few months ago now), they made “microphones” out of chalk holders and they like to “sing” into them. Emmett is always “Fred Mercury” and Malcolm is “David Bowie” or just “David.” Nowadays they sing whatever–sometimes gibberish, sometimes one of these songs (this past week it’s been Shake It Off), sometimes a Red Yarn song (he’s a local kid’s musician). Oh, and now they get to play with the real-looking Rock Band microphone too, which they think is amazing. They plug it in to the heating vent in the living room and carry it around the room to sing.

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For a few months, they forgot about their magnatiles, but they are firmly obsessed again. (Which means lots of issues about who has more/not enough.) And they’re really into puzzles right now. We have a few sets (thanks Grandparents!), and they’re able to do them all by themselves now. It’s really cute to hear them parroting things we’ve said about helping them match pieces.

I want to be sure to acknowledge that the annoying stuff is not the whole picture. Yes, the typical 3-year-old behavior sometimes makes me want to scream with frustration and impatience (like getting ready for bedtime, UGH the worst)…but there are a lot of wonderful things about this age too.

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We’ve been doing some baking together occasionally. On Valentine’s Day we all made pink chocolate chip cookies. They did such a great job at pouring and stirring and scooping…and eating the batter. 🙂 They ADORE ‘smoolies’ [smoothies] and helping me make them–putting things in the blender, pushing the button. The other day we made apple carrot muffins, and they poured all the ingredients in for me and helped stir. DSC_7410_WEB

It surprises me how much they can do. I keep thinking they’re so little and not yet ready for fine-motor manual tasks…but they’re quite agile and capable. We need to remember to allow them to push and explore their physical boundaries.

They still love helping and want to help with everything. (This was true a year ago too–but now they can actually do stuff!). About half the time, of course, that helping comes in the form of a tantrum, like the time I got a spoon out of the drawer to make the oatmeal, and then Emmett started hopping and whiny crying, “I wanted to do it!” Being psychic would be helpful for living with three-year-olds.

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Other cute mis-pronounciations include decker-bocker bus (double-decker bus), hot tog (hot dog), wallermelon (watermelon), and Burger Bill (Burgerville). Oh, and the other day I was talking to them about what they can be when they grow up. Emmett wants to be a cooker (a cook) and Malcolm wants to be a fireman.

We started a sticker chart this spring! Originally it was to help with naptime and bedtime, to convince them to stay in their beds. That basically didn’t happen at all. Oh well. We also gave stickers for things like going potty on their own, bussing their table, brushing their teeth on their own. When they filled a whole row of stickers, they got a reward–an extra episode of tv, or time to play iPad games. It’s pretty much the cutest thing watching them get a sticker and put it on their chart. Sadly, the novelty has since worn off…which I don’t mind too much, actually. If they don’t really care about the stickers but they’re still somewhat motivated or working on those items, then that’s still a win.

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The best part of three-year-olds is that there is lots of laughter and silliness. They still play together all the time, and it’s happy and peaceful at least 85% of the time. (They do fight over toys or how much each of them have.) (And sometimes the silliness isn’t appropriate, like when it’s bedtime.) But they LOVE playing chase with us, just running in circles in the house or in the garage. They love being tickled, and pretending that I’m a monster trying to get them, or any other random silly game I make up. They like directing things too: “I’m the teacher, you’re the kid.” “Say, ‘I’m going to get you!'” “You chase me!”

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And there is so much love and affection. I already mentioned the morning cuddles. When I pick them up from daycare, they literally run over to me ready to tackle me with hugs. It is the best. AND when someone comes back from being gone or away, they will say, “I missed you!” with big happy grins and hugs. Again, the best. They also are still fairly polite, and ask each other to do things, or one will go get/give something to his brother as a favor. They still like to hold hands with us, and they still want to be carried or get a shoulder ride (which is easier than carrying with arms…but hauling a 35-pound preschooler is rough on the shoulders). They still want plenty of hugs and snuggles at bedtime. They’re really so very sweet.

So yeah, overall, this is a really neat age. They understand so much, they can really communicate, they can do lots of things by themselves, and they get excited about so many things. Like seeing an airplane or a MAX train, or eating fresh berries in their morning oatmeal, or coloring pictures for family members. We’re really enjoying these sweet boys right now! ❤ ❤