The M Word

Last week was Mother’s Day. My first official Mother’s Day. (Last year I was secretly pregnant for Mother’s Day, and also we were ending our trip in central Europe.)

I was hoping that by now I would have been able to put together some words about being a mother.

But…I haven’t. I can’t. It’s so strange.  

See, Mothers are grown-up ladies who know what they’re doing.  

That description does not sound like me…ergo, I can’t possibly be one! And yet…

Here are these two babies that apparently are mine. I have two babies. They are pretty much the best and cutest babies in the whole wide world. Hugging them is seriously one of my all-time favorite things to do. Their giggles, their chubby thigh rolls, their little hands grabbing mine, the way they have a huge smile when they see me first thing in the morning…I love these things and lots more. I love these babies. I guess that makes me a mama.

I hope all of you mamas had a good, relaxing day. All I wanted this year was a nap and a photo of me with my sweet babies. Check and check, thanks to my husband.

Regression?

Thanks to Ask Moxie, I learned about growth spurts and sleep regressions long before it would ever be time for our babies to go through them. I blame pretty much blame any weirdness on one or the other. However, as their four month ‘birthday’ came and went, I wondered if somehow we had escaped the four month sleep regression that I’d heard such terrible things about.

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, the babies had a hard time going to sleep. They cried for a good half-hour after we put them down, which is very unlike them. Wednesday and Thursday nights (I think?) they were up–WIDE AWAKE–for an hour and a half around 3am. We gave them snacks and tried to help them calm down, to no avail. Eventually we put them (or at least one of them) in a Rock n Play, and they must have fallen back asleep.

They also suddenly refused their naps, or at least their nap schedule (which had been 45 minute naps four times a day). Emmett would finally sleep for 1-1 1/2 hours, and Malcolm stayed up longer and crash for half an hour. They also got a lot more hungry, eating 7oz or more for at least half the feedings.

The morning after the second bad night, we were talking about it, and as I went through all the unusual things that had been happening, I was like, Dang, I am describing a sleep regression.

I was still a little hesitant to label it that in my mind, because I’d heard about babies waking up every 45 minutes or every 2 hours all night long.

I was also hesitant because I was scared that some terrible torture was about to befall us for weeks on end–some babies’ regressions can last up to SIX WEEKS. Ie, insanity time.

However! Over the weekend they were back to their normal nighttime routine–went down fine and had some overnight wakeups, with us making quick trips to replace pacifiers. The erratic naps and increased appetite have stuck around.

Also–I swear they’ve started rooting again!

Then! On Sunday and Monday nights this week, they had NO overnight wakings! It was amazing! We felt incredulous in the morning: “Did you wake up for anything?” “No, did you?” Rest for all of us–hallelujah! Maybe this was the shortest sleep regression on record!

Tuesday night, however, was another awake-for-an-hour-and-a-half at 2am. It suuucked. Naps Wednesday were even worse than they’ve been: They both took two half hour naps in the late morning and early afternoon. Then Malcolm was awake from 2pm until their dinner (630pm). Four and a half hours! He wasn’t happy, fussed from 5pm on, even when I was holding him. The swing calmed him but still no sleep. Poor baby. Emmett napped for less than half an hour somewhere during that time, so at least he was okay.

From Wednesday on, the babies have mostly napped back on their old schedule, and needed a little more to eat, but not a lot. No more long overnight awake time though, so far. Knock on wood. Friday, the 11am nap lasted an hour and a half–for both of them! At the same time! This is unprecedented! I’m sure it was a fluke–I won’t hold my breath that it’s a new pattern or anything.

However, the last few days, Emmett has occasionally been getting upset and extra fussy again. We think it could be related to pre-teething?

So it’s all a crapshoot at this point–especially remembering that there’s a six month growth spurt on the horizon. I guess we just need to be patient with the little babes and do our best to comfort them and keep them happy.

Rhododendron Garden

Last fall and winter, I joined a bunch of Meetup.com groups, in hopes of meeting people and learning about interesting places in Portland. One was a group called New to Portland Moms. Well! That’s exactly who I was (or who I was about to be)!

They are a very active group, with outings most days a week. But most of the meetups are early in the morning. So when I saw an outing for the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden at a 11am (an hour past a feeding), on a Thursday, it was like, “Bingo! That’s perfect!” It was close by, I hadn’t been there before, it wasn’t too early, and I wouldn’t have to feed them there. Finally, an outdoor outing that I could feel comfortable attempting by myself!

The garden is a lovely network of paths ambling among trees and around water, with lots of colorful rhododendron bushes everywhere. All seemed to be in peak bloom. It was a perfect day to stroll, just the right amount of warm. The paths were nice and shady to keep you cool. There are some small hilly sections that were a little bit of a challenge with my big stroller, but for the most part it’s easy to roam. There’s a large lake in the middle. I found a few moms from the group with their kids–all bigger than mine–and after a little loop of the flowered paths, everyone hung out on a lawn while the kids roamed and snacked.

I laid out a muslin on the grass and took the babies out of the stroller. In less than two minutes, the fussiness started.

They weren’t screaming or anything, thank goodness, or even crying very loud. It was just clear that they were unhappy. I tried to deal with it for awhile, and a fellow mom even held one baby for a couple minutes. But finally I decided that the hassle wasn’t worth it, and I packed them up again.

So it wasn’t the greatest outing in the world, but it wasn’t the worst either. I guess I just need to take baby steps–ha!–in getting these babies out and about in the world.

Damn you, Google Reader

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I’m still in denial that Google Reader is going away. Stop trying to make Google+ happen! Anyway, I’ve ‘claimed’ this blog with Bloglovin. Please follow me there or with whatever other reader site you’re using.

I have, no joke, 16 other drafts waiting…I need to find an entire day to finish writing some of them and start feeling more caught up. Either that or stop being so finicky about posts.

Anyway. Happy almost weekend!

Acknowledgements and Apologies

I wanted to take a moment away from all-cute-babies-all-the-time to address a few points.

First and foremost, I hope I haven’t offended or irritated or annoyed anyone by being preachy or braggy or something terrible like that. (If it’s my personality that’s annoyed you, well, you might be out of luck. :/)

This having-twins thing is kind of crazy, and it can be difficult. There are a lot of ways that logistically it’s more difficult than having one baby, and I have been guilty of thinking and saying, “Oh man, one baby would be so easy!”

I came across a link to this blog post–Your hard is hard–and felt humbled, and guilty. I want to apologize–whether to you specifically, or to the ether in general. This baby business is not a competition.  I must remind myself constantly not to compare my experience or thoughts with others’. I hate to think I may have offended someone. I am so sorry–I would never do that on purpose.

My uncharitable thoughts or thoughtless remarks are really unfair. A new baby is a huge change and adjustment and lifestyle shock to anyone. We happened to have a slightly different kind of lifestyle adjustment than do people who have singleton babies. But that doesn’t take away the difficulty and the shock and exhaustion that all those singleton-baby parents experience. It’s different, but it’s not better or worse. It’s all difficult because it’s all new, and because each baby is different.

In so many ways, I have been so lucky in my experience, and please, I want to make it clear that when I say that, I’m acknowledging that a) it has nothing to do with me or anything I’ve done; b) I have had a lot of support; c) I am grateful and surprised; and d) a lot of mamas have a much harder time than I do.

There are so many people out there whose babies have colic, or sleeping issues, or allergies/sensitivities, or other difficulties. That is so tough! I would have a really hard time dealing with those issues, and I acknowledge and applaud that so many mamas are dealing with them so gracefully–or at least surviving! (Which is really all we can do sometimes, right?)

Multiple babies seem to elicit responses from people like, “Wow, you must have your hands full!” and “I don’t know how you do it!” When in reality, any baby is going to keep his parents’ hands full in one way or another. It seems like all babies have their ups and downs, good and bad aspects, and each of us has to deal with and work through what our own babies present. We don’t know any better and we certainly don’t have a choice.

So, fellow mamas, I applaud you simply for being mamas. For doing your best for your baby or babies, for getting through every day, good or bad. It’s really hard sometimes, isn’t it?

When I post about things we do or have, or systems that we use, it’s just to share or perhaps inspire ideas. It’s not to preach our way as the end-all be-all. I don’t subscribe to any one theory or philosophy of parenting, and even if I did, I would never ever want to preach/force it on anyone else. All I know–all any of us knows–is our own babies and what works best for them and for us. Sharing ideas in a friendly, helpful manner is one of my favorite things about knowing other mamas. So that’s all I’m doing here. And believe me, I am very aware that I don’t know anything! That’s why I categorize some posts as “Non-Expert Advice”, to acknowledge that I’m coming from an extremely limited scope of experience.

I love hearing from other people and reading what other folks (in comments or on blogs) have to say, and I hope to be a helpful and interesting addition to the giant world of baby blogs. And most of all, I hope to be respectful of everyone who stops by. Because no matter how many babies you have, this parenting thing is hard! We all deserve support and encouragement. So please give yourself a virtual hug from me. And give your baby a snuggle and don’t forget to give yourself a break every now and then–you deserve it!

5 months old!

Dear sweet babies,

Five months! What!

You are happy, smiley babies. Happy chunky ones too–you’re approximately 15 pounds and close to 25 inches. You’re getting close to the end of 3m clothes.

Here are some of the things you’ve been up to and learning this month:

You discovered your voice–especially Malcolm. You figured out that you can shriek and yell. It gets really high pitched, too! Very cute. Along with that, you’re starting to giggle more. Love it.

Your hand movements are quite smooth now. You grab anything near you and bring it to your mouth. You also started to reach out for toys on your exersaucer. You both love to sit in the various contraptions we have–the super seat especially. You’ll just hang out there, and look around, and grin. And play/eat with toys that you can grab.

Another super cute thing you do now is playing with your blankets. You love to grab it and pull it different directions, and especially drape it over your faces. The Taggie blankets are your favorites, but even a burp cloth will do in a pinch. For some reason, putting a blanket over your face will calm you down if you’re upset.

This month you have begun doing baby sit-ups. You are rarely content to just lie on the boppy anymore! You’re starting to get really strong-you can lift yourselves to like 45 degrees! You love it when we pull you up to sitting. I’ve tried a couple times to actually sit you up and sometimes you can stay up for a second. I have no doubt you will be sitting for real on your own soon.

You had a big physical accomplishment this month–you both rolled over! I’m not sure if I can say you “learned” to do it, because it was either accidental or random/rare to actually make it all the way over. But both of you did roll a couple times! Interestingly, you both roll to your left.

Emmett, you did it first. Daddy laid you down after a nap and a second later you had flipped over! Just kind of out of nowhere. Malcolm, it took you a couple more days, but you were practicing and trying with a lot of effort–you lift your butt up on one side and bring your foot up, trying to get your lower half to roll over. Your elbow on that side was in your way, though. I helped you practice a few times over a couple days, and finally you rolled all the way over by yourself! Emmett, you tend to use your big head to tilt tilt tilt until you roll over. However, after the first few days of new and excitement, it seems like both of you were over it. You still don’t really roll readily.

The other really cool thing you’ve started doing is turning pages of your board books. One evening after your dinner, I put you both on my lap (which is not easy) and showed you a book. Malcolm, you started twitching in the general direction of the book. So I brought it closer to you and you grabbed the pages. You were able to grasp a single page with your left hand, between palm and thumb, and bring it over to the left. Emmett, you did the same thing the following day. Neither of you have mastered letting go of the page, but to be fair, you’re only five months old.   Since then, we still “read” books to you both but mostly so you can turn pages.   Overall, I’m so impressed and proud of both of you!

A big (emotional) milestone was of course moving to your own room. You transitioned there really easily. We transitioned you to your crib fairly easily too, over the course of a week or so. You continue the same schedule you’ve had for a little while. You’re still sleeping pretty well, with a few wakeups around 2am and 4am.

You continue to recognize us and light up when you see us. I continue to love hugging you and kissing your big squishy cheeks.

We love you,

mama

Tulip Festival!

On Thursday afternoon, we did an afternoon outing at the Woodburn Tulip Festival!

Though I grew up in the Seattle suburbs, I never went to the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival. I would hear about it and be so interested, but I never made the effort to actually go. A few weeks ago I was thinking about tulip season and wishing it weren’t so far away so I could finally go…then I wondered if there was something similar a little closer.

I looked it up and lo and behold — a local tulip festival! Woodburn looks to be much smaller than Skagit–it’s only one farm and one field. But it was still so beautiful!

Rows and rows of different colors of so many tulips!

Yay!

Of course half the reason I wanted to go was to take pictures. Of course with two babies and uneven ground for the stroller, I didn’t have a lot of time to really hang out in the field with my camera like I wanted to.

But I got a few decent shots at least. And I’m already thinking ahead to next year. 

Babies will be walking by then, so we’ll have a little more freedom (though of course we’ll be chasing after them too). And we can take lots more cute photos. Imagine this one in another year, with both babies sitting in the wooden shoes. Won’t that be adorable?!!

(Am I the only one who specifically looks for and plans photos on outings and future outings?)

This was also a good opportunity to get nice photos of each of us with each baby.

And of course take a family photo! Next year I hope to find a spot with better/closer tulip backgrounds.

We didn’t have a lot of time to look around before they had to eat. We’d left right after their 1pm feeding and arrived around 3pm (it’s a 45 minute drive from Portland). We fed them in the car in their carseats around 415. They were still distracted and it took longer than normal, but it wasn’t the craziness like our last outing. Unfortunately, Emmett did his freakout thing and Andy had to try lots of different things to calm him down. We finally gave up with an ounce left in his bottle and we left around 530.

It was really a treat to get out of the city, especially during the week with fewer crowds, and see such a pretty sight. This year all the tulips are in bloom at once, and this is the peak. If you’re local, you should go!